BEARSCARE

I just saw this video on the news. I have no words.

Every once in a while,  a headline comes along that makes me almost headbutt my laptop and then get a little nauseous. This is not one of those times. This time, I actually DID headbutt my laptop and then I DID get nauseous:

PREGNANT WOMAN GETS HIT BY CAR AFTER BEING CHASED BY A BEAR.

OMG. OMG. OMG. OK, check it out. This lady was RUNNING through the woods, carrying a baby, when a GRIZZLY bear started stalking her. She managed to scramble up an embankment ONLY to get hit by a car. The police showed up, checked her out and ROCKED the bear with a gun. The bear didn’t make it, but the woman immortalized the noble beast by giving her kid the middle name, “Bear”. Unbelievable. This may very well be the best headline ever to grace the news in all history. AP, thank you. From the bottom of my brown fur heart, thank you.

RIP, bear. You will be remembered forever in the middle name of a soon-to-be born child.

I just read on the news that some nutty lady up in Pennsylvania was trying to sell kittens with piercings on eBay. This is pretty cruel and I would never consider piercing my kitten. The auction described one kitten, called “Snarley Monster”, was described as “a three-month-old, floppy-eared, loveable kitten with a docked tail”. Snarley Monster is pictured below.

There were also kittens with back piercings (whatever that’s supposed to be). The seller was hoping to get $400+ per kitten. Gross.

Here’s a link to the article that I lifted this information and the picture from: http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Gothic-Kittens-Animals-With-Pierced-Ears-And-Neck-Seized-By-Protection-Officers-In-Pennsylvania/Article/200812315187322?lpos=World_News_Second_World_News_Article_Teaser_Region_1&lid=ARTICLE_15187322_Gothic_Kittens%3A_Animals_With_Pierced_Ears_And_Neck_Seized_By_Protection_Officers_In_Pennsylvania

Recently, during a Vatan, a popular newscast on Turkmenistan’s state TV station, a cockroach (Figure 1) appeared on the news desk. This little fellow jammed around, unnoticed by the anchors, for enough time to make “lap” around the desk before disappearing. The newscast was first aired at 9 PM and rebroadcast at 11 PM. The roach was not noticed until the morning [1].

Figure 1

Turkmenistan’s president, Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov (Figure 2), has, for some time, been trying to bring his once-Soviet nation into the modern world [2]. One of his efforts was to order his minister of culture, Gulmurat Muradov, to fix their aging TV station. Muradov appointed a committee which monitored the station daily from 9 AM – 6 PM. Three hours after the committee members left for the day, the cockroach made his debut on live TV. In response, an irate Berdymukhamedov fired 30 of the stations employees [2].

Figure 2

I would give ANYTHING to see this footage. Seriously, if anybody knows where to find a clip of this, tell me.

[1] http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=19289547

[2] http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/feb/22/television