BEARSCARE

You may have thought that terrorism is limited to human beings, but this is proof that some bears have been recruited to commit hate crimes. In this case, a Syrian bear killed a common brown bear in cold blood at a zoo in Germany. No one is sure of the motive, but the bear is in custody. Funeral plans have not been announced for the victim.

Personally, I believe both bears are victims. What sicko put this bear up to such a horrible crime? I mean, this has made the news worldwide, so, to whoever crafted this atrocity, congratulations, we’re all REALLY impressed. You forced one innocent bear to kill another. This is absolutely disgusting.

This has been a great summer for the bears. Two black bear attacks (one fatality), me seeing black bears, a baby bear with burned feet . . . and now this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAPuwp2tsIU]

Here’s how my mornings start. I wake up, fall back asleep, wake up again and look out the window for bears. But guess what? I never see them–lame. I would kill to live somewhere where this could happen (like Alaska).

I guess this is pretty cool. Some guy wasn’t paying attention one day and a grizzly started raging him. He played dead and the bear left (bears aren’t into dead people). I would have tried to communicate with the bear, but I’m more of a man than this guy, so it’s not too surprising he didn’t.

Video on CNN

It’s a rare day when a grizzly bear attack is national news. Today is one of those rare days. A bear, called Rocky, who appeared in Will Ferrel’s timeless classic, Semi-Pro, bit his trainer on the neck. As you might guess, a grizzly bite to the neck is tough thing to walk off and Stephan Miller probably died on the spot. This happened in Big Bear Lake, CA.

The authorities have not decided what to do with Rocky. While my condolences go out to the Miller family, I feel strongly that the bear should be set free. Or at least not killed. Rocky really didn’t know any better and no grizzly bear should be punished for being a grizzly bear. If you devote your life to training some of the most dangerous animals in the world, you must accept the risk that those animals could kill you. Irwin died doing what he loved and I can only hope that Mr. Miller really loved bears–because, well, I hope he loved them. Below is a picture of Rocky. That is all.

I have come up with an idea for a new all-purpose military aircraft. What does this have to do with bears, you might ask? Everything. The airplane is based on the grizzly bear. It’s called BFA-1000000 Grizzly Bear (bomber-fighter-attack-one-MILLION) and it’s SO much better than other aircraft. Its airframe is similar to that of the F/A-18 Hornet, except my airplane is totally loaded down with more weapons than you could ever imagine.

If you were to look up as a BFA-1000000 was flying overhead, mostly you would just see gray cylinders (bombs) and missiles. What you wouldn’t be able to see (because they’re obstructed by all the bombs and missiles) are the battering rams, located on the nose and each wing, and the machine guns, located in the nose, the wings, that tail-fin-thing, the wheels, and the rudders. And, just in case, the pilot would be armed with a revolver for times when he really needs to rock. Basically, the my airplane can own anyone at any time in any place. The BFA-1000000 turns M.A.D. into just plain old A.D.

A recent study, published in Science Daily reveals that the now extinct cave bear (Ursus Spelaeus) was not such a wimp after all. Well, we always knew they were hard, but the scientific community has to be “skeptical” about new ideas and “sure” about facts. I’m not sure. I know. I can feel it in my furry little heart.

Anyway, these bad boys were as carnivorous as modern brown bears (grizzlies and Kodiaks), which is what anybody would expect. That’s about all they know for now, but I’ll keep everybody up-to-date.

Don’t believe me?

Ancient Cave Bears Were As Omnivorous As Modern Bears

Cave bears will MESS YOU UP

So, the San Diego Zoo has some new grizzly bear cubs (see below).

They look pretty sweet and I’m going to free them.