BEARSCARE

One of the most interesting and rarest behaviors of the Great White Shark has been filmed for the first time (ever). An exceptionally large speciman washed ashore in New York, NY, and was observed by local beach goers.

“He bit right through it,” commented Silvie LeFramboise, “At first I was going to touch it, but then I found a stick. It was a good thing I did.” It’s a little known fact that over 60% of Great White Shark attacks actually take place on dry land; unsuspecting beach goers approach the giant killers thinking they’ve washed ashore dead, only to learn that the shark is very much alive and, as always, hunting. Ms. LeFramboise was lucky to escape with her life. “They said if I had been a step closer, I wouldn’t have made it. I feel more alive now than I ever have. I’m going to quit my job.”

Rod Fink Jr., however, was not so lucky. The up and coming paper entrepreneur had been vacationing in Sydney, Australia and had decided to try his hand at surfing one day. After not catching the first wave he went after, he paddled out for another try. “That was the last I saw of him. Paddling,” remarked Fink Sr., who saw the footage on youtube, “But this youtube thing is incredible. How long has it been around? Oh, but with Rod Jr., it was a really unfitting end. Really just a shame.” The paddling was actually just the last known footage of Fink. It turns out that after several unsuccessful tries, he began sulking on the beach. Eventually, he came upon a Great White Shark sunning itself. Still itching to assert his dominance over the sea, Fink crouched down in front of the giant fish and began to speak. No sooner had he opened his mouth had the shark done the same. And that was that.

Every once in a while,  a headline comes along that makes me almost headbutt my laptop and then get a little nauseous. This is not one of those times. This time, I actually DID headbutt my laptop and then I DID get nauseous:

PREGNANT WOMAN GETS HIT BY CAR AFTER BEING CHASED BY A BEAR.

OMG. OMG. OMG. OK, check it out. This lady was RUNNING through the woods, carrying a baby, when a GRIZZLY bear started stalking her. She managed to scramble up an embankment ONLY to get hit by a car. The police showed up, checked her out and ROCKED the bear with a gun. The bear didn’t make it, but the woman immortalized the noble beast by giving her kid the middle name, “Bear”. Unbelievable. This may very well be the best headline ever to grace the news in all history. AP, thank you. From the bottom of my brown fur heart, thank you.

RIP, bear. You will be remembered forever in the middle name of a soon-to-be born child.

So, science did it again; the biggest snake of all time has been discovered somewhere in S. America. This badboy is over 40′ long and, according to some guy I heard on NPR, could be thick enough to reach up to your hip if you’re a weak-ass little man. Otherwise, the snake would probably only be knee-high, which is absolutely intimidating, but at least not waste-high.

The snake discovered was over 60 million years old and discovered in one of those “countries” in S. America (who cares which?). What is that place, Isla Nublar? Get over it, guys. I SAW big anacondas in PR when I went–well, not literally, but whatever. I’ve had it. Snake below.

Just kidding. This site is about animals (bears) and that’s it. Here’s a koala.

CNN posted this video today of a kid’s run-in with a sweet coyote. It was a draw, but I like to think the coyote had the last laugh.

CNN just released this video of a blue lobster with a pink belly. Apparently this happens to one in two million lobsters. So, if you’re into that stuff, take a look. If not, whatever. I don’t care.

This one has been up at one of my anonymous news sources for quite a while now so I felt that I should mention it just for the of completeness. This dog, Buddy–real creative, was trained by his owner to bite a telephone if he (the owner) has a seizure. Well, he did and so he did. YAWN.

Peep the video here if you want

**No images of Buddy were available, so this picture from Wikipedia is the best I could do. It looks a lot like Buddy, though.

Stop what you’re doing and go here now. I found this article on CNN and am utterly stunned. I would write more, but I’m going to go look into the mirror and contemplate my own color.

As this page establishes itself as a true colossus of the internet with TEN THOUSAND page loads, I would like to take a moment to discuss pelicans. Today, a pelican landed on the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA, stopping traffic for a long time. This is the best thing that’s ever happened to that bridge.

I first noticed pelicans while photographing crabs and flying men in North Carolina earlier this summer. They captured my imagination and also the imaginations of generations before me–the graceful wings, the dump-truck beak–they’re probably just the best birds. Here’s a picture of one from Wikipedia’s article on them.

Also, Pelican is a pretty great band.

I think pelicans were featured in The Flintstones, which is fine. But I could be wrong about that.

This is absolutely tragic. These sickos in Peru dress up their Guinea pigs, take them out for parade and slaughter them. And then they eat them right then and there. Hey! I have an idea! Let’s take a bunch of PEOPLE and parade them down Broadway and eat them. How about that?