BEARSCARE

14 January 2010

Yesterday, a hippo escaped the Montenegro National Zoo (MNZ). Heavy rains had flooded the zoo and water levels rose above cage walls, allowing Nikica the hippo to swim to his destiny.

“I will not the make a kill,” remarked Nikoli Sregev, NMZ central administrator. “The hippo…the gentle creature…eat a rat or mini bird. We make this kill? Unaccept.”

Generally, hippos shouldn’t be approached, though some suggest that they are among the gentler cow derivatives. Hippopotami will kill humans, but they usually have good reason; bulls have traditionally felt threatened by encroaching hominids, and this legacy still stands. Please, keep a conservative distance when hippo-gazing.

Foxnews.com is reporting that some kid was attacked by an unidentified animal. Here is a list of the most likely culprits

1. Grizzly bear cub
2. Pack of ravenous nutria
3. Lost bees
4. Koalas
5. Camel spider
6. Courtney Love
7. Arctic sea bird
8. 1 mile of inch worms (63,360 worms)
9. Aardvark?
10. Scottish Fold kitten

Actually, I’m almost sure it was the kitten.

According to the AP, some guy got LIT UP by a grizzly. Seems he got too close and the bear showed him the what’s what. As of May 25, 2007 the man was listed in fair condition. Since no other news has surfaced since, it assumed that he did not survive the encounter.

Source: http://www.yellowstone-bearman.com/bearupd.html