BEARSCARE

Every morning (when I wake up) I scour the news for bear related headlines. Today I was in for a real surprise: somebody filmed a PYTHON trying to eat a kangaroo. The image is pretty disgusting, so I’m only going to link to the article. Here it is: http://www.news.com.au/travel/story/0,26058,24615712-5014090,00.html. I will, however, say few words about pythons and kangaroos.

Pythons are large snakes. Like the anaconda, the python is among the two largest snakes in the world. The primary difference between anacondas and pythons is anacondas live in the water and kill other things that live in the water whereas pythons live on the land and try to eat kangaroos, aligators (http://bearscare.org/2008/05/12/snake-vs-lizard/) and sometimes people.

Kangaroos are marsupials. Marsupials (koala bears, kangaroos, etc.) are characterized by a pouch on females which is strictly reserved for their young. Some marsupials live in their mothers’ pouches for several years before vacating for good. All marsupials live in Australia (no coincidence there) and kangaroos are known for their jumping.

Acknowledgements:

I would like to thank Wikipedia for providing the images for this article and also foxnews.com and all pythons.

This has been a great summer for the bears. Two black bear attacks (one fatality), me seeing black bears, a baby bear with burned feet . . . and now this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAPuwp2tsIU]

Here’s how my mornings start. I wake up, fall back asleep, wake up again and look out the window for bears. But guess what? I never see them–lame. I would kill to live somewhere where this could happen (like Alaska).

This lady is really lucky. She was attacked by a black bear and survived. See, black bears are very intelligent and they know there is very little to be gained from attacking humans. And if one does get angry enough to attack, they’re pretty easy to reason with. So, whatever she did to rage this bear must have been pretty bad. Once they decide to attack, they usually don’t stop until the job is done.

Hey everybody, here’s the haps. This bear just got married and I’m hibernating with my wife in the OBX. BUT, some serious ships went down recently that I need to write about. Some poor lady got lit up by a black bear in Quebec. Here’s what happened: her husband found her, couldn’t move her and had to deal with an extremely combative black bear.

I don’t know why that bear attacked. Usually black bears are pretty scared of humans and/or friendly towards them. Black bears just want snacks and not you. I hope no other bears get any stupid ideas because of this one bear’s poor judgment. Humans are NOT food, OK? We produce food, and that’s fine, but you can’t eat us. When you do eat us, we get mad and write articles and that’s bad publicity. So stop it. Seriously.

Bears just usually hang out in the woods or tree stumps, like this one.

Don’t believe me? Look here.

More black bear information is on Wikipedia.

Foxnews.com is reporting that some kid was attacked by an unidentified animal. Here is a list of the most likely culprits

1. Grizzly bear cub
2. Pack of ravenous nutria
3. Lost bees
4. Koalas
5. Camel spider
6. Courtney Love
7. Arctic sea bird
8. 1 mile of inch worms (63,360 worms)
9. Aardvark?
10. Scottish Fold kitten

Actually, I’m almost sure it was the kitten.

I guess this is pretty cool. Some guy wasn’t paying attention one day and a grizzly started raging him. He played dead and the bear left (bears aren’t into dead people). I would have tried to communicate with the bear, but I’m more of a man than this guy, so it’s not too surprising he didn’t.

Video on CNN

It’s a rare day when a grizzly bear attack is national news. Today is one of those rare days. A bear, called Rocky, who appeared in Will Ferrel’s timeless classic, Semi-Pro, bit his trainer on the neck. As you might guess, a grizzly bite to the neck is tough thing to walk off and Stephan Miller probably died on the spot. This happened in Big Bear Lake, CA.

The authorities have not decided what to do with Rocky. While my condolences go out to the Miller family, I feel strongly that the bear should be set free. Or at least not killed. Rocky really didn’t know any better and no grizzly bear should be punished for being a grizzly bear. If you devote your life to training some of the most dangerous animals in the world, you must accept the risk that those animals could kill you. Irwin died doing what he loved and I can only hope that Mr. Miller really loved bears–because, well, I hope he loved them. Below is a picture of Rocky. That is all.

As a cat owner myself, this story really hits home. This woman was just hanging out with her cheetahs when one got distracted, knocked her over (accidentally) and then realized that this was his only change to get revenge. So, the cheetah and his buddy lit her up. Everybody is OK, though.

I worry about this everyday with my cat, Skittles. She’s pretty dense, but her claws are sharp and she’s not afraid to use them. She actually just stabbed me in the leg.

In the wake of the tragic death of Steve Irwin, we’re all pretty sensitive about stingrays. And now we should be even more so. Today, the media has been reporting on a story of a spotted eagle ray who actually leaped out of the water and killed a woman who was just chillaxing on a a boat! Have you ever heard of a fish killing someone out of the water? I haven’t. The out-of-water realm is where we kill fish, not the other way around, OK? This is messed up. If I find that fish, I’ll eat it.

Some say it isn’t real. This is a lie. Look, any Australian who jokingly warns you of a drop bear wants you to think it’s dry humor. Let me tell you: there are tree creatures in Australia that will drop on your head and hurt you.

What is a drop bear, you ask? I just told you. It’s similar to a koala except vicious. They just wait in trees all day for a victim and then attack. Here‘s a Wikipedia article, but it’s all wrong. Watch out for Drop Bears, OK?