I have come up with an idea for a new all-purpose military aircraft. What does this have to do with bears, you might ask? Everything. The airplane is based on the grizzly bear. It’s called BFA-1000000 Grizzly Bear (bomber-fighter-attack-one-MILLION) and it’s SO much better than other aircraft. Its airframe is similar to that of the F/A-18 Hornet, except my airplane is totally loaded down with more weapons than you could ever imagine.

If you were to look up as a BFA-1000000 was flying overhead, mostly you would just see gray cylinders (bombs) and missiles. What you wouldn’t be able to see (because they’re obstructed by all the bombs and missiles) are the battering rams, located on the nose and each wing, and the machine guns, located in the nose, the wings, that tail-fin-thing, the wheels, and the rudders. And, just in case, the pilot would be armed with a revolver for times when he really needs to rock. Basically, the my airplane can own anyone at any time in any place. The BFA-1000000 turns M.A.D. into just plain old A.D.