Cat lacks vocalization skills
August 21st, 2010 |Recently it has been brought to my attention that there’s a cat who can’t “meow” or hiss properly. This is disturbing for several reasons:
- Cats meow constantly and it can be very annoying; a cat who doesn’t meow is probably plotting a far worse fate for its owner.
- Cats hiss as a natural expression of disgust. A cat who does not hiss when it feels revulsion clearly has deceitful intentions.
- Cats are generally unable to repress emotions consciously and so this specimen may present a unique opportunity to felinologists for the advancement of cat theory and felinology in general.
The cat, pictured below, is only able to make strange gurgling sounds, sometimes followed by high-pitched squeals, in situations during which other cats would certainly meow. Recently, confronting an estranged sibling, the individual, rather than exhibiting ordinary hissing behavior, reacted with sternutation followed by rapid inhalation.
- Cat lacking conventional vocal faculties.
Derek Jensen, a spokesman for the Coalition for the Advancement of Feline Research and Societal Integration (CAFRSI) , issued the following statement: “Occasionally, yes, we do encounter specimens deficient in meow and meow-related abilities. We have been studying this phenomenon since our institution’s inception in 2006. As of today, we have been unable to locate the missing gene, but we are confident that modern science and medicine will pave the way to future understanding of this disorder, and God willing, a cure for all those affected.”
I would like to personally offer my sympathy to all affected cats and wish the best of luck to those seeking a cure.
