BEARSCARE

Here’s what happened. The plane took off like a normal airplane. As they ascended, something went horribly wrong, both engines failed and the pilot made an heroic and miraculous landing in the Hudson River. Everybody onboard, including both the pilot and copilot, survived. This has never happened before.

I accept that this guy is a hero and that the landing was a miracle. But how often do you hear about the cause of the crash? You may have heard that the airplane struck a bird. Well, it struck a flock of birds–big birds. Some got sucked into the engines. Do you have any idea how painful that is for the unlucky birds? Those jet engines sting! Imagine sticking your pinky finger in there!

Well, my point here is that the pilot is a hero, and that’s great, but what about the innocent birds that were killed? Will we ever know how many gave up their lives so those passengers could live? Birds have feelings too. I’m sure the ones that died had plans to go back to Canada to have more baby birds. Even though no humans died, we still have some mourning to do. I just wish the news outlets would stop being so cocky and show some respect.

Did you know that there’s a bearscare.info? It’s written in a language I can’t understand (French, Greek, Korean, etc.) but I did gather from peeping it that the bearscare is a walking stick on which one end can be ignited to scare a bear. Here’s a diagram from the website:

This really isn’t going to work. Bears aren’t stupid. They know that humans CAN’T hurt them. Really the best defense you have you must encounter a bear is kind words, a hug and offerings of food, drink and (in W. VA, Maryland, Tennessee and Mississippi) cigarettes.

Whatever, guys.

Everybody, WATCH OUT! One of my worst fears has been confirmed: pet treats at PetSmart containing peanut butter can kill your pet. This is particularly disturbing because Giuseppe (my pet python) gets really squeezy when he doesn’t get his favorite peanut butter treats. Just stay tuned and I’ll let you know when peanut butter treats are safe again.

PS: What the hell is “salmonella” anyway?

Just kidding. This site is about animals (bears) and that’s it. Here’s a koala.

Yo! I’ve been jamming my EYEBALLS on cnn for like 3 days but there haven’t been any polar bears, squids, deer, grizzly bears, etc. at all. The reason? This Obama guy. So, considering my recent exchange with my bro, Chris, about pythons, I just thought I’d post this sick-ass video:

This snake is 7 m, approximately one fourth the size of my behemoth python, Giuseppe. Now, picture the snake in the video but four times bigger. That’s my jam factory, G-Bone. If he had it his way he’d eat 12 pigs per week but I keep him Kosher so it’s turkey/chicken 100%.

Some kid, after years of Sega, NEEDED a pet hedgehog, which he got. He found out, to his dismay, that hedgehogs were illegal in his state. So what did he do? He took his cause to court, just like I would. After months of debate, hedgehogs were finally legalized. My wife says that when we get a pet hedgehog she wants to name it Lucifer. Here’s the link:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/01/03/pkg.hedgehog.love.ktka

I’m sorry, Knut. I’m sorry they make it this difficult for you.

http://blog.rbb-online.de/roller/knut/entry/noch_mehr_davon

Introduction

The python is a large, land-based snake. It is capable of eating small mammals (including people) and its preferred killing method is strangulation/crushing. Pythons can grow to an excess of 30 feet (10 meters). Pythons are mostly green but can also feature brown or yellow colorings.

History

Pythons, along with some other snakes, are thought to have evolved from lower-slung dinosaurs roughly 85 million years ago (according to carbon dating on skeletons found in South Africa). Interest in pythons first began in the late 19th Century when humanoid remains began turning up–people were fossil crazy! The massive snakes captured the western world’s imagination; in 1897, the New York Times featured a python-related story once every other week on average.

Habitat

Pythons are found in the wild exclusively in Africa. They are distributed evenly throughout the continent but there are locally large populations in large population centers since food is more readily available. It is not uncommon to see a python slithering through a market place looking for fallen merchandise.

Although pythons can be kept as pets, it is not recommended. The animal may be very small when it is purchased but will likely exceed 25 feet in length and 10 inches in girth within 8 months. It is impossible to tell just how big any given python will grow. The steady increase in unwanted pythons in American animal shelters is thought to be a result of this uncertainty. Please, if you’re considering a pet python, remember that it is a very needy animal and will require its own room and sizable pond. Also, the full-grown snake will need, at a minimum, 6 live chickens per week.

Feeding

Pythons will eat just about anything. Their favorite meat is chicken, but they also enjoy turkey, ostrich, some cuts of beef and have been noticed eating scrapple. In the case of birds, the snakes will only accept live food or food which is dead and artificially animated either through mechanical means or electrical. Beef products are only taken raw or rare.

Pythons will eat fruits and vegetables out of boredom. It is good to provide them with a balanced diet, so it is recommended that once a month the snake be presented with only green vegetables for a week or so. The snake may refuse to eat for two or three days but will eventually rekindle its appreciation of vegetables. Favorites include asparagus, summer squash, Asian pears and clementines. Under no circumstances should pythons be fed onions.

Reproduction

Pythons will not hesitate to reproduce. They tend to be monogamous and a breeding pair may produce in excess of 14 snakelings per year if appropriate nutrition is available. Unlike other animals, there is no “mating season”. Happy, healthy pythons will reproduce at any time. Pythons are very private about their mating practices and film crews have never successfully captured the act.

Life cycle

Pythons, being the biggest of all snakes, are also the longest lived. A healthy, unstressed python can live in excess of 130 years. Some are quite skeptical when they first learn this fact, but such longevity is not unprecedented in nature; turtles and tortoises lack any gene which causes aging and can live indefinitely long until some severe disease sets in.

A baby python reaches adulthood in 18-24 months. At this point, the snake will roam the earth searching for food (preferably chickens) and a mate. Once a mate is found, the two will tend to be inseperable until one succumbs to disease. This can take quite a while since there are very few python-diseases and most only exist in north-eastern Europe and South America where pythons comprise only ~0.01% of snakes. Once one half of the pair has deceased, the surviving snake will usually seek a new mate. Very few pythons are solitary.

Public reaction

People love pythons and few realize that they are the most deadly snake on the planet and have a very bad attitude. Pythons will attack people out of fear-agression in 9 out of 10 confrontations. Only experienced handlers should be within striking distance of these snakes. In 2007, the Central African Python Research Institute (CAPRI) reported over 2 million python related deaths. This figure is staggering since CAPRI estimates there are only about 800,000 pythons in the world. Including the 1,100 python fatalities in the rest of the world, this is 2.501 kills per snake. All pythons should be treated with respect and fear. Please admire them from a safe distance.

Conclusion

Pythons are extremely dangerous. They are majestic snakes but should be left alone. You would be better off with a King Cobra as a pet rather than one of these.

References

All material here was generously provided by the Central African Python Research Institute.

According to the Daily Mail, some guy leapt into Knut’s enclosure because he was lonely and felt the 2-year-old bear was too. Zookeepers lured Knut away from his new dinner and into a cage before removing the man from the enclosure. Police said he did not appear to be mentally disabled. Although I certainly share this man’s desire to befriend Knut, I do realize, as a bear expert and enthusiast, that making a bear friend is a slow process which requires lots of patience and trust. I know that after months of bringing seal meat and making bear noises Knut would come to accept me. I would never, however, try to rush him into a friendship that makes him uncomfortable or hungry.

Two items of business to take care of today. First and foremost, I am pleased to announce that this is the bearscare.org 100th post of all time. To celebrate, I am announcing a give away to the most creative bear artist. Please submit original works depicting bears (preferably eating salmon, elk, berries, etc) to tom at bearscare dot org. The winnder will be announced on New Years Day. Thanks and good luck.

Secondly, here is a story I can really get on board with. A loggerhead turtle named Herb washed up on Cape Cod with a severe case of hypothermia. Some very thoughtful marine biologists rescued him and they’re slowly warming him up to send to turtle rehab. We’re all rooting for you, Herb!