And eaten. That’s right, some locals in the Philipines came across a buttonquail on the island of Luzan and thought enough of it to photograph it (see below, courtesy of National Geographic) before selling it to a market as food. Humans 1, buttonquails 0.
A chimpanzee named Travis died Monday after severely biting a woman in Connecticut. Police were unable to negotiate with the chimp and resorted to deadly force. “He had a wild look in his eyes,” remarked police commissioner, Mark Willis. “He kept throwing his head around and shrieking. We shouted for him to put his hands up, but it was as if he didn’t even hear us. We had no other choice.” The unidentified woman was hospitalized and listed in critical condition. After Travis’ family has been notified, funeral plans will be announced. This is a currently developing story, so check back for updates.
RIP, Travis the Chimp
Today, my wife and I were in a local pet store looking for inspirational reading and weight loss supplements for our chubby cat, Skittles, when I came across a cage labeled “Honey bears”. You can imagine my surprise; they have been selling juvenile Honeybears along side regular hamsters and mice! I don’t know what sicko from Delaware would be supplying major pet stores WITH BEARS but bringing him/her to justice is another story. Naturally, I recognized the threat and purchased the two bears immediately.
Before I continue, I think a little background is necessary. As you’ve read in the Honeybear article, these creatures are pretty damn muscular. The speed with which they need to run to catch the necessary amount of prey to keep them running that speed requires a body fat percentage of only 2%. Furthermore, the average Honeybear weighs roughly 300-320 kg, of which nearly 270 kg is muscle. The point is, these bears don’t have much room for auxiliary tissue, such as reproductive organs. So, Honeybear cubs are extremely small when born due to the limited space the mother Honeybear has inside her belly. Below is a picture of newborn Honeybears.
I suppose I can understand how someone would think this creature is “cute” or a “hamster of some sort”. Maybe they think their disposition is sweet because they’re called “Honeybears”. Well, they aren’t sweet; they’re BEARS. And the only reason they’re called honey is because that’s the standard color of their fur, though it can range from a ruddy brown to pale fawn.
So we bought the two Honeybear cubs and a secure enclosure manufactured by CritterTrails (trust me, I banged on the plastic for while and it hardly broke). We returned home with our deadly find and set them up in their new home. Fortunately, time is on our side. Because Honeybears require so much muscle, they grow very slowly–quality over quantity. Below is a picture of our Siamese cat, Muffin, keeping an eye on the bears.
And here’s a picture of the bears together. They’re huddled with each other because they don’t have enough body fat to stay warm if they aren’t running.
So far I’ve observed the two fighting, hoarding, running and sleeping. They can climb much better than I was expecting and I will report this finding to the National Association of Bear Research (NABR). Below is a picture of one specimen scaling a vertical tube from the inside. Imagine if this bear were full grown and climbing up your chimney.
So, here’s the thing. Next time you go to the pet store looking for a new pet, stick with mice, hamsters, snakes, hedgehogs and gerbils. If you see a cage labeled, “Honeybear” or “Honey Bear”, stay away. Even if the label reads, “Honey Bear Hamster”, it is a mistake. These are not hamsters; they are juvenile bears. Honeybears are 50 times more vicious than grizzly bears and bear adoption is a binding contract in 49 states whether the adopter is aware that the adoptee is a bear or not. Unless you are a trained, certified professional, adopting a Honeybear is certain death for you and your family. You have been warned. If you see any Honeybears available for sale ANYWHERE, send me an email at tom at bearscare dot org so that I can remove the threat and re-home the bears in the bear facility my wife and I operate from our house. Thank you.
The boar-croc is an ancient animal which shares characteristics of both crocodiles (large alligators) and wild pigs, such as boars. The animal was discovered in early January but only announced Sunday. The discovery was kept secret to allow a multinational team of zoologists to conduct a thorough survey of current crocodile and pig species to make sure this animal is not a threat. Fortunately, it was found that the boar-croc was most likely killed off in North America by Spanish colonialists in the 17th Century. “The current threat status to humans and other crocodiles is negligible,” remarked the beast’s discoverer, Paul Sereno. “We are much more concerned with other, exotic crocodilian variants”
The boar-croc along with a multinational team of researchers
Source: http://www.examiner.com/r-6589195~The__Boar_Croc__dined_on_dinosaurs.html
You may have heard a lot about The Octomom in the news lately but you may not know what she’s all about, and so I’m here with the scoop.
It all started back in 2007 when an animal was discovered off the coast of South America called an Octosquid (pictured below).
The octosquid is bassically half octopus (Octopus cyanea, a cephalopod) and half Southern Giant Squid (Architeuthis sanctipauli, also a cephalopod). See below.
Scientists have been baffled for 2 years now trying to figure out how such a monster could come to be. They theorized that there must be some shared ancestor in the evolution of octopi and squids from dinosaurs and they named this ancestor The Octomom. Aparently, an Octomom has been recently located, except very few details have come out about her condition. The one thing we know is that she spawned 8 offspring very recently. Perhaps the fact that she was giving birth explains why she ventured out of the safety of deep, southern Pacific waters. Check back here for updates.
So, science did it again; the biggest snake of all time has been discovered somewhere in S. America. This badboy is over 40′ long and, according to some guy I heard on NPR, could be thick enough to reach up to your hip if you’re a weak-ass little man. Otherwise, the snake would probably only be knee-high, which is absolutely intimidating, but at least not waste-high.
The snake discovered was over 60 million years old and discovered in one of those “countries” in S. America (who cares which?). What is that place, Isla Nublar? Get over it, guys. I SAW big anacondas in PR when I went–well, not literally, but whatever. I’ve had it. Snake below.
Well, today was Groundhog Day! Groundhog Day is an ancient Asian holiday where a groundhog is used to predict the weather. Back in the 19th century, a family of groundhogs was brought to Pennsylvania in the luggage of Japanese immigrants so that they could continue their tradition. And they have to this day.
The current groundhog is Punxsutawney Phil. He is thought to be over 35 years old and is showing no signs of frailty.
The verdict: MORE WINTER. It was unfair, though. If Phil would have been brought out later in the day, he would have seen his shadow since a blizzard is about to pummel the East Coast.
Here’s what happened. The plane took off like a normal airplane. As they ascended, something went horribly wrong, both engines failed and the pilot made an heroic and miraculous landing in the Hudson River. Everybody onboard, including both the pilot and copilot, survived. This has never happened before.
I accept that this guy is a hero and that the landing was a miracle. But how often do you hear about the cause of the crash? You may have heard that the airplane struck a bird. Well, it struck a flock of birds–big birds. Some got sucked into the engines. Do you have any idea how painful that is for the unlucky birds? Those jet engines sting! Imagine sticking your pinky finger in there!
Well, my point here is that the pilot is a hero, and that’s great, but what about the innocent birds that were killed? Will we ever know how many gave up their lives so those passengers could live? Birds have feelings too. I’m sure the ones that died had plans to go back to Canada to have more baby birds. Even though no humans died, we still have some mourning to do. I just wish the news outlets would stop being so cocky and show some respect.
