The Sharks Are Attacking
This is a
OK, listen up everybody. Especially everybody living in Australia (see below).
There have been a SERIES of shark attacks. It all started when this one guy was snorkeling (sharks LOVE snorkelers, so go figure). He disappeared and the only remnant they found was part of his wetsuit. In my opinion, the most likely culprit in this attack is the hammerhead.
But this is where it gets scary: two more attacks happened in Tasmania. Both victims were surfers and both were victimized by Great White Sharks. This means that, for the first time in history, two species of sharks are teaming up against humans. This is absolutely terrifying. If sharks can sustain inter-species communication, they are much smarter than all experts (myself excluded) previously believed.
Right now all coastal nations need to gather to discuss the implications of this underwater conspiracy and decide how to combat it. Together we are strong but alone we are shark food.
Just imagine if you could beam the lyrics to “If I had a hammer” throughout the waters surrounding Australia. It might stop all shark aggression if they would just take the words to heart.
If I had a hammer
I’d hammer in the morning
I’d hammer in the evening
All over this land (sea)
I’d hammer out danger
I’d hammer out a warning
I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land (sea)
These lyrics promote cooperation between hammerheads and great whites, while offering peace and love to their human brothers and sisters. Now we just have to translate the lyrics into a shark-friendly version.